I have a coworker who loves to propose team activities, but never wants to plan them. You know the type. They always broach the topic with “We should do a team < fill in the blank >!” Then sits back and waits for any takers. Well this week, during a team meeting, that same coworker suggested a team holiday party and then nominated me to plan it. (The nerve!)
I declined.
Why? Because I already do plenty at work! — no need to add more to my plate. Plus, experience has shown me that just because I give more at the job doesn’t mean I gain more.
In competitive workplaces, it’s tempting to view favors and extra job duties as “opportunities” to increase your standing in management’s eyes. That’s because we know edging out our peers isn’t just about job performance but management’s perception of our agreeability, likability, availability, sociability, leadership ability, etc. Be wary though of doing any and every thing just to stay on management’s radar. Because truth be told, it may not carry as much weight with them as you think. Besides, turning down the role of team party planner ain’t gonna make or break your career. Even if your boss is disappointed by your unwillingness to help them out, HEAR ME when I say:
You’re still a team player.
You’re still worthy of that raise.
Your career trajectory is still on track.
There is nothing wrong with guarding your time or preserving your energy. If you’re reckless with either one you can invite burnout and before you know it you’re caught up in a cycle of stress and overwork. I’ve learned to ask myself three questions whenever I contemplate doing something beyond my normal job:
- Was this my idea? — It’s a simple yes or no question. If it’s my idea, it carries more weight because I trust my own intentions. If it’s someone else’s idea, I assess whether I want to work with or help that person. I’m more inclined to help a trustworthy friend or colleague than someone I don’t have any real rapport with.
- Does this excite me? — Again, a yes or no question. If I don’t feel enthused or energized by the prospect of doing it, it’s not worth it to me. No need to subject myself to a grueling or tedious task unnecessarily.
- What am I gaining (and is it worth it)? — In other words, it has to serve my needs/wants. If it doesn’t, it’s a no-go.
The questions keep any people-pleasing tendencies at bay by making sure I remain the central focus. In a nutshell, they’re empowering…and sometimes you need that when you’re uncomfortable saying no. So the next time someone at work ambushes you for a favor or nominates you to do something, ask yourself those questions and see how you feel. I promise you’ll be saying ‘no’ with your chest in no time.